Six Loving Exchanges

The holiday season has arrived and, with it, traditions of giving, accepting, sharing, and connecting. These moments of togetherness hold immense potential—not just to nurture relationships, but to elevate them to new spiritual heights.

In a book called Upadeśāmṛta (The Nectar of Instruction), Rūpa Goswami, a 16th century saint who wrote extensively about the philosophy and practice of bhakti-yoga, describes six loving exchanges that form the foundation of spiritual relationships:

  1. Offering gifts
  2. Accepting gifts
  3. Revealing one’s heart in confidence
  4. Inquiring confidentially
  5. Accepting sanctified food
  6. Offering sanctified food

Each of these loving exchanges align beautifully with the spirit of this season by offering us ways to deepen our relationships with friends and family members while simultaneously deepening our sense of connection to divinity. Here’s how:

Exchanging Gifts

When we give gifts with thoughtfulness and love, those gifts become more than material objects—they carry the essence of our intention. Whether it’s a tangible object, words of encouragement, a charitable donation, or even our time and attention, the love behind the gift shines through.

Accepting gifts is also an act of connection. When we accept a gift with humility and gratitude, we acknowledge the gift-giver and the intention behind their gift.

Gifts takes on a numinous hue when they make the recipient feel truly seen, when the act of giving is, in and of itself, a source of satisfaction to the giver, and when the loving exchange reminds both the recipient and the giver of their shared spiritual nature.

Heartfelt Conversations

The holidays offer us opportunities to reveal our thoughts and feelings to a trusted friend and earnestly ask them how they’re doing. When we listen with empathy and share with sincerity, these exchanges become a form of nourishment for the soul. They remind us that true intimacy isn’t about solving problems or offering advice—it’s about being fully present for one another.

The conversation between Krishna and Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gītā provides a wonderful example of how a confidential inquiry in a moment of crisis and a reciprocal revelation of confidential knowledge can be a source of mutual inspiration in an exchange of transcendental love.

Sharing Meals

Holiday tables are often filled with qualities of joy and togetherness that can be amplified when we add the element of gratitude.

And gratitude can be expressed on many levels, such as gratitude for the immediate source—the people who prepped and cooked—and the ultimate source, the one who supplies the elements of nature and the organic systems that make food possible.

When we take a moment to acknowledge the ultimate source of our sustenance, remember that food is a form of energy, and gratefully offer the transformed energy—the cooked meal—to the source of the energy, then every bite becomes an experience of love and interconnectedness.

Acting in Harmony with Our Spiritual Nature

Each of these exchanges—giving, receiving, confiding, inquiring, accepting, and offering —resolves in seva, or loving service. This is not just a ritual or duty but a joy hard-wired into our very being. Service motivated by love is the essential feature of our eternal spiritual nature, our sanātana-dharma.

When we serve with love, whether by feeding someone, offering a heartfelt gift, or simply being present for another, we tap into the deepest aspect of ourselves. We discover that our true essence lies not in seeking for ourselves but in giving of ourselves.

This holiday season, I invite you to reflect on:

  • How you can infuse your holiday traditions with these six loving exchanges.
  • How these acts of connection—when performed with love, gratitude, and an awareness of divinity’s presence in everyone’s heart— might help you lift you, and everyone you connect with, to higher levels of spiritual consciousness.

Wishing you all good fortune,

– Hari-k

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